wildflower chapter 21

First? Cairn’s first? Hadn’t he said he’d been in many relationships? Lilian was bewildered, faced with this unexpected truth. What had this perfectly healthy man been doing all this time if he hadn’t even kissed anyone? He spent all his time riding, hunting, and studying—clearly neglecting the essential experiences of youth. Lilian quickly calculated how much he might charge her for compensation for her stolen first kiss. Her world revolved around “money, books, and kisses” these days, so her thoughts naturally gravitated towards material solutions.

“How… how much do I owe you to make up for that?”

Cairn’s face twisted into a strange expression.

“I don’t think I can manage more than 200 silvers….”

A deep furrow appeared between his brows.

Wait, that wasn’t right.

“200 silvers is nothing to you, is it? If you give me until next month, I can somehow scrape together 300. Anything more than that is impossible.”

“Are you playing with me right now?”

“F…Five hundred?” Lilian offered, thinking she was being quite generous.

“What are you talking about? You have to pay me back with your body, just like I did with mine.”

“Huh…?”

“Didn’t you hear me? With your body.”

“My…my body?”

“You’re perfectly healthy, aren’t you?”

It sounded like he was going to sell her off to the mines, though she knew that was unlikely.

“Yes. I do get sick a lot, but…if you had to categorize me, I suppose I’m…relatively healthy?”

His demeanor was cold, his blue eyes, devoid of their usual light, had darkened, and his expression was different than usual. His lips, unsmiling and set in a straight line, delivered words so chilling that Lilian instinctively recoiled.

“Until I give you permission to leave, you’ll spend the rest of your life in Baltan Palace….”

Cairn trailed off as Lilian glanced nervously at him, fear etched on her face. Imprisonment was illegal, but she had the unsettling feeling he might actually lock her away in the highest tower of Baltan Palace, where no one would ever find her.

“Lilli?”

“Cairn, don’t say things like that. You’re scaring me.”

Lilian was more startled by his overbearing tone and the heavy atmosphere that had settled between them than by the actual words.

Had he ever spoken to her like this, with such an expression? Cairn had never behaved this way towards her before, so she had no idea how he acted around others.

As her lips turned downwards, Cairn’s expression immediately softened.

“I’m just teasing. Let’s go back to the main palace.”

“Really? You were really just teasing?”

“Yes, really. You’ve been teasing me so much lately, I wanted to get you back. It’s no fun when you’re so scared.”

“Yes… I was scared just now.”

“…Was the thought of staying in Baltan Palace forever that frightening?”

It was more his blazing eyes and the suppressed, almost explosive tone of his voice that had terrified her, but Lilian simply nodded, figuring it amounted to the same thing.

“The kiss… it might have been my first, but we both agreed to it. How could I hold you responsible?”

He soothed her, gently stroking her back.

“I won’t tease you like that again. Let’s go. Everyone will be waiting.”

Lilian slipped her hand into Cairn’s outstretched one. The sweat of her anxiety had long since dampened her lace gloves. Their conversation had been cut short, leaving her unsure of what he’d intended to say, but one thing was certain: it hadn’t been simple teasing. When Cairn teased, his left eyebrow would lift slightly.

***

A perfectly sliced piece of meat was placed before Lilian.

“Eat.”

Cairn set his own plate in front of Lilian and proceeded to cut hers.

“Thank you. You have some of this.”

Lilian placed a butter-braised potato on Cairn’s plate. It was the carnivore’s favorite side dish. Lilian loathed potatoes and had been giving hers to Cairn since they were children.

He silently ate the potato.

“You two are such a lovely sight, as always.”

The Duchess observed them with a proud smile.

Lilian had often dined with Cairn, even back when he had absolutely no manners. Back then, she couldn’t have imagined him ever carving meat for someone else, but ever since they’d both shot up in height, he’d been incredibly attentive to her during meals. Lilian knew she had the Duchess of Headington’s early training to thank for that.

“As long as they’re not hanging from trees, they’re both proper young ladies at the dinner table.”

Count de Vermore said with a chuckle.

“…Father.”

“Lady de Vermore climbs trees with the grace of a true lady.”

Cairn effortlessly parried the Count’s comment, and laughter blossomed around the table. Lilian always envied Cairn’s ability to deflect others’ teasing remarks with such skill and composure.

She enjoyed the meal in comfort, basking in Cairn’s attentiveness. The atmosphere remained cheerful throughout.