wildflower chapter 8

“Huh? What kind of silly question is that? Of course, I mean lying very close to each other, caressing each other’s bodies as a warm-up, then gradually moving your hands lower, where it’s moist…”

Cairn felt dizzy at her detailed description. It was more explicit than he had anticipated.

“Wait, stop, stop. Where did you learn such things?” Cairn’s expression turned serious as he listened to Lillian’s explanation.

“I learned it from books.”

“Books?”

“Yes, I went to the library and read every book about s*x.”

“Why, why would you do that?”

“It’s, it’s studying!”

“Burn those novels right now.”

“No! Mind your own business about my studies!” Her expression was so scholarly as she offered her unconvincing excuse that Cairn couldn’t help but take her seriously.

“But that… well… books have their limitations. So, Cairn, could you explain it to me in more detail?”

“What?” He gaped at her outrageous request.

“It would be difficult for you to tell me directly, wouldn’t it? The closer you are, the more you want to hide your sexual life.” Lillian paused in thought. “Then, could you ask Lord Regid?”

“Are you talking about Victor Regid?”

“Yes. You’re in the riding circle together. Don’t you know him?” She looked around the greenhouse, confirming that they were alone. “I heard he’s the biggest playboy in the Clat Empire. He must have a lot of experience with such things.” She beckoned him closer, and he leaned down to listen.

“They say he’s slept with over a hundred women. I overheard one of them saying he has remarkable stamina and skill.”

As soon as she finished whispering, Cairn let out a deep sigh and gave her a reproachful look.

***

“Absolutely not.” Cairn’s reply was firm. He warned her not to even speak to Victor Regid. He opened his mouth as if to say more, but then closed it tightly, leaving the greenhouse with angry strides.

“How stingy…” Lillian was at the largest bookstore in Valtan’s Old Town. Her maid, Matilda, watched anxiously as Lillian climbed a ladder to examine the higher shelves.

“Found it!” The book she was looking for was a first edition of Ashbourne’s Theory of Love. It had been out of print for a long time and was difficult to find, making this an unexpected treasure.

“Please come down now, Miss. It would be terrible if you fell.” Matilda said, holding the ladder steady.

“Okay, I’m coming down. Hold on tight.” The timid Lillian slowly descended the ladder, her legs trembling.

“Let’s go. Father will be angry if I spend all day at the bookstore again.”

“Yes, let’s hurry. But Miss, did you have a fight with Lord Headington?” Lillian paused, smoothing the wrinkles from her dress.

“Hmm?”

“His Lordship used to visit often, but I haven’t seen him lately. You two were always together. Except for when Lord Headington was at the Imperial Palace for a few days for the Archbishop’s inauguration, you seemed to be together every day…”

“…We should keep our distance now. People will find it strange if we’re always together now that we’re adults, and we’ll have to get married soon.” That wasn’t the real reason they had drifted apart, but it was a convenient excuse. Thinking about it, she realized it was time to distance herself from Cairn.

“Miss, I’m just curious…” Matilda hesitated. Surrounded by tall bookshelves, they could speak privately. “Have you two really never had feelings for each other?”

“Hmm?”

“Well… you two are so close…”

“No. We’re not like that. Just good friends.” Lillian shook her head firmly.

“And Cairn… he should meet someone better than me.” Her voice trailed off.

“Like Miss Aizen Frederick…” The perfect Lord Cairn Etienne Headington suited a beautiful, kind, and sociable woman. Lillian could vividly picture Cairn and Aizen married, enjoying horseback riding and swimming together. He wasn’t suited to someone like Lillian de Vermore, who was always cooped up at home.

“I see. I know it’s presumptuous, but I thought you two were a perfect match. Of course, you’re also wonderful friends.” She’d heard that countless times.

“And more than anything, I love seeing you with Lord Cairn.”

“Huh?”

“You seem free. You smile more, eat more, and play more pranks.”

“Well…” Lost in thought, Lillian’s gaze drifted to the highest shelf. Matilda was right. When Cairn was with her, she didn’t stutter in front of others and could laugh freely.

“Well, we’ve been together since we were young.” She had found an answer of sorts, but it felt vague. She couldn’t shake the feeling that it was an incomplete, conditional answer.